Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
