My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
