Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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