i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
