it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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