I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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