turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
