You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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