some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
