At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
