Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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