Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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