i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
So apparently I’m into choking now
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