Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
