Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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