sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
