I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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