She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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