I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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