who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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