he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
