apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
