If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
