Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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