is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
