all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
