Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
