I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
