his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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