You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
