you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
