i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
