I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
