Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
