Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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