on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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