it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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