Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
