My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
