Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
