Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She needs sedatives and a leash
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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