Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
