you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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