Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
