I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
