Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
