my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
