Sponge bath it is.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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