Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
