somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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