I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
