dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
