when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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