Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize