found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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