Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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