so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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