Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
