Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
how drunk are you?
Several
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
