there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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