u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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