Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
