I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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