try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
