Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
they need to just BURY HIM!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize