Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
