It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
