it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I wear drunk well.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
